The Big \puppet/ Powerhouse Christmas Extravaganza By Timothy Sheridan (c) 2010 215-242-8340 info@theubie.com 96 pages (+6 songs) -- NON SPOILER: This is a wonderfull colorful and thrilling ride Its Food, Friends and Music --The Holidays. Themes in order of appearance: Practice, Money, Crazyness, Dejection, Fundraising, Rejection, Rescue, Travel, Mishap, Setup, Deadlines, Showtime, (christmas songs) Accidents, guilt, consolation, making it right, things not ready, Exaustion, Rescue, (sana's candyland), leaving candy land, tecnhical planning, Saftey, Deals, Sacrifice, Paying the band, Fixes (El Mopo frees the dinner) Food, togetherness, Rebuilding. Edits to dialogue and balcony battle 5/21/2019 --Sppoiler SynopsisOPEN TITLE PLATE -RED WITH GOLD LETTERS The Big Puppet Powerhouse Christmas Extravaganza Red background, fancy gold letters. Music in the style of the Honeymooners. Orchestral waltz/rag with bells & ending gingles. (notes: G (up octive)G, Gb, D C A ||) (ending up scale G B D (up octive) G (up octive) G VO The Big Puppet Powerhouse Christmas Extravaganza... CUT TO Shots of Busy Christmass street near theater. Excited Music (It's the most wonderful time of the year) EXT. THE THEATER MARQUE' - DAY A clasic theater. ZOOM IN AND DOWN INT. THEATER Lobby The candy counter Being stocked by SUZIE. A bouquet of candy sits on the Counter. SUZIE hmm..hmmm..hmmm.. INT. Balcony Track A kid with glasses polishes the brass handrail. ZOOM TO STAGE INT. STAGE Musical performers are rehearsing. A few Players toot and buzz their instruments lazily. Under the MUSIC DIRECTOR's tootalage. A giant Christmas tree with decorations stands in their midst. ALL (Jingle bells, slow) Buzz buzz buzz toot toot.. MUSIC DIRECTOR Uhh Oh well ok there.. uh huh.. Mmmm.. We are going to need a little more focus.. Come on now.. Give me excitement! Excitement. A two and three.. One two three.. INT. UPSTAIRS MANAGERS OFFICE -DAY Some of the players are planning their Christmas show. They are gathered in the room above the balcony at the top of a three story single flight of stairs and down a short hall to the right. They sit at a table with receipts, a cigar box and a mechanical calculator. There is a window to a fire escape, A pegboard and 30s style office furnature including a water cooler, desk, rol-a-dex and old liberty bell shaped black phone. ACCOUNTANT Hmm.. now last night's performance of Merchant of Venice didn't do that well. DIVA I thought I was spellbinding as the young maiden! VLAD Yea it was good. DICK Oh, Well this Christmas show should do a little better. ACCOUNTANT Yea, We can still make it if.. uh.. do we need lights? BILLY Don't we have some batteries and candles in the prop room? Oh.. DICK We really need a holiday Hit, Something with glamor, action. ACCOUNTANT Yea, action and romance. DICK Any ideas? ALL no.. nah.. DICK Come on guys we need something. Something with a big budget and lots of excitement and.. ACCOUNTANT Well there's one problem. DICK What's that? ACCOUNTANT Well I didn't want to tell anyone but.. we've been behind on our lease.. DICK How far behind.. ACCOUNTANT About 10,000 Dollars Room of startled Players gets back up from the floor.. DICK (GULP) That um.. Well How much is in the box? ACCOUNTANT Oh uh lets see.. Its Enough for everyone..., ALL Ahhhhhhh. mmmm. good., ACCOUNTANT ..to, get an ice cream cone.., ALL Mmmmmmm! Yes, Ahaaa. very good. ACCOUNTANT But, only one dip., ALL (Shock commotion) Ahh! What do we do.. oh uh Dick! DICK Oh.. now let's not panic.. ALL Ohhh! Oh dear. Oh no. More shocked and more commotion. DICK Now were not out on the street yet. ALL (even more panic and lament) DICK Now wait! There's no reason to worry as long as we have our lease. ACCOUNTANT Well that, I was going to mention also.. DICK The uh.. our lease.. ACCOUNTANT ohh..uhh.. DICK Um, ACCOUNTANT? Is there something you want to tell us? ACCOUNTANT Uh.. well I didn't want to disturb the artists.. ALL Yea.. uh huh.. good point.. DICK Yea.. uh that's fair.. ACCOUNTANT But we have to be out at noon on friday. DICK But ACCOUNTANT, today is friday. ACCOUNTANT Well I know that's the part I didn't want to tell you. The room rumbles with a crashing noise. INT. ON STAGE Reaction shots to plaster falling INT. UPSTAUIRS MANAGERS OFFICE A wrecking ball is poised near the window. Bshhhhhhh! ALL Ahhh! DICK What? Huh? They gather at the window to see the crane and trucks. VARIOUS ... What is it? A Christmas Decoration. / Maybe they're building a large clock. / You guys thats a wrecking ball! / Well I have to call our leasing company right away. They must have the wrong place. VARIOUS Maybe it will leave. / It could leave. / Nothing lasts forever. /Well it could be a decoration. It just need's a little ribbon to make it festive. / It seems harmless enough the way it is. DICK wait hold it right there.. dials phone. DICK Hello? (The groups comes to listen) Hello Is this united mega properties? yes I'll hold. Hello? Yes. Um well uh it seems there's been some kind of mistake there's a truck outside our theater. Oh They did? How much? Oh. Dick Hangs up. They bought our theater and are going to turn it into a Bulk Food Mega Store. ALL Mega Bulk Food mega bulk Food Mega store Bulk. VARIOUS Well if we decorate it then nobody would notice. VARIOUS We could do that. ALL Yea.. agreed.. good point. Way to go! The Ball bumps into the building. Ka-thunk ART What was that? BILLY Somthing klunked the building. ACCOUNTANT It was the decoration. It thumped the building. SCIENTIST Well it was more of a klunk. WILL I though it was a thump. SCIENTIST Yes but it was rather percussive. WILL I sensed a bassy overtone. BILLY Wait it's going away. ALL (sign) Ohh.. good. DICK No It's coming back! ALL Ahhhh! Wrecking ball smashes into the building! The critters become frenzied. DIVA They cant do that! Come on Lets get em! ALL Ahhh Uhhhph Errrr EEeeeee.. Haaaaaaa... ohhhh... awww.... The critters run back and forth and on to the fire escape throwing goblets, garlands and stage props. They launch brooms and plungers with an archers bow. A desk lamp is launched with an improvized slingshot. The wreckngball takes another piece of the building. The players bungy a coat rack to the railing as a trebuchet. They launch A manikin, a suit of armor, a desk chair, a fish bowl, a rolladex, a wastepaper bucket, filing cabinate. Others bring a ladder. One jumps from the ladder to the crane biting and pulling at it. INT. THEATER STAGE The theater company begins saving the theater equipment, the decorated christmas tree is topled and pushed out the back door into a truck. Several crates, are stored in the other truck. HARRY begins collecting cleaning supplies on a dolly. EXT. THEATER FRONT The wrecking ball swings in through the wrecked window. The wrecking ball swings back out with the players holding it. They drop onto the street below unharmed. The biter jumps from the crain and lands on the crane's windshield with outstretched arms and a large toothy grin. The thesbians defend by waiving brooms and cones at the workmen. Pressing them back against the caushion tape. Then they attack the crane operator. But they're shaken off (slow-mo) and land in a pile one by one. The crane operator continues his work. The thesbians attack again. Others try to prevent the crane from spinning but they can't. Others continue to wave brooms and cones. The crazy crane jumper DENNIS rides the jackhammer, bumping into the crane, left, right, chasing workmen, through causion tape, riding through up a plank then down again. Rakes and shovels fly into the air as he rides over them, over a see-saw-saw-horse, through a sand pile (muffled). The gang gets the last of the props out on the sidewalk as the wrecking ball continues. HARRY finally pushes his dolly of cleaning supplies out the door. ACCOUNTANT That's all of it. DICK Are you sure? Oh! HARRY Dick come back. Dick runs in to the collapsing smashing room ducking into doorways as the wrecking ball hits, avoiding falling debris and he takes the cigar-box of ice cream money as the ball smashes through the room. He runs. Outside DENNIS is still ridding the jack hammer as work men continue to flee back and forth. The crane operator shakes and flees screaming. CRANE OPERATOR Ahhh! Ahhh! Oh! Get them off of me! Then DENNIS runs over the generator's power cable and fireworks fly out of the generator! But the crane now swings out of control. The whole theater company watches as the spinning crane steadily rips through the top floor of the building. A beat. The building implodes neatly into a very tall pile of bricks and a lopsided front door. Then Dick emerges from the clowd of smoke with the cigar box conatining the last of the money. EXT. THE STREET -AFTERNOON The evicted players sit in front of the rubble pile and enguages in lint removal and sewing. BILLY sews MANAGER. ART uses the lint roller on Dick. BILLY Just hold still. ART A little more on the side.. There. MANAGER Ehhuhh!? DICK It's good. (MANAGER's arm) But I think tonight's performance may be something of a problem. Although we do have some money left. So let's just stay calm and think rationally. ALL Yea.. Uh huh.. Good yea, good idea. EXT. STREET Puppets with ice cream cones. BILLY Well I guess this is it, Huh ART? ART Awww.. DICK Now let's not judge harshly. Look at the bright side. We had money for cones. ACCOUNTANT Yea and enough left over for a pack of cookies. DICK Aw... Thanks ACCOUNTANT.. OVER EATER eats the cookies. ALL Yea.. DICK Ok we had a setback. but we wont let that slow us down. We just need to get ready for the show tonight. DIVA The Show? ACCOUNTANT The Show. DICK Yea the.. The Show must go on! We are actors. We make it happen! The lights, the makeup.. the.. all that other stuff. Of course most of that is under a big pile of rubble. But the show must go on! (Pause reactions) But uhh.. Oh Right.. Well we will have to look for another place! Come on, lets go. The group begins to leave. SHABBY Hey.. How about a little help here. EXT. STREET -EXODUS/NO ROOM AT THE INN Music -Hardship (as to: slow "mini the moocher") They drag their gear(and Shabby's can) onward around the corner and there is a giant 'Cinema 24 Multiplexiverse' (or Cinimatwentyplex). STORE OWNER sweeps sidewalk, scowls at the homless players shaking his head. A couple people turn to look at them with disdain. CHATTING BYSTANDER 1 (under his breth) Lazy. WOMAN CLASPING CHILD Don't look at them honey. PASSER BY (dissaprooving) Get a job. EXT. CINIMA 24 MULTIPLEXIVERSE -DAY Music stops. ALL Gasp. BILLY What is it.. ? ART It's a theater.. ACCOUNTANT ..around the corner from our playhouse. DICK How come I didn't notice this before? VLAD It's a miracle. BILLY Yea that would be the good. ART If only we could play in a place like this. ACCOUNTANT Yea. We could set up here. But were out of money. DICK Out of money. Oh, right. Now we can't let that stop us. We'll just have to earn it back. Some on everybody, you know what to do. Are we thespians! Are we talented? Are we broke? Yea that's right. Now let's do it! ALL Yeaa Ahhhh!!! EXT. STREET -AFTERNOON MUSIC (ragtime?) The group begins moving road blocks, trash cans, old ladders from the alley way and card board boxes. The troupe stages street performer acts.(Pick three) WILL does a little softshoe with cane. ACCOUNTANT Does a stand up act. DIVA does a little singing. Then the Two little Puppets do a punch-and-judy sward fighting act. The group cordoned off all the side streets to funnel tourists to watch. The Vlad does a non sensical non-Magic) show with two ladders a large crate and a sheet. EXT SIDEWALK PARK -AFTERNOON The groups assembles at the end of the day. Dragging their junk back together. DICK Well? How did we do. ACCOUNTANT Um let's see. That's 200 dollars. ALL gasp.. ACCOUNTANT ...and ten cents. ALL mmm.. They all look at the dime and watch it being put in the box. DICK Ok that should be enough. Let's go. Let's make history. They drag their stuff onward around the corner. EXT. FRONT OF CINIMA 24 MUTIPLEXIVERSE -LATE AFTERNOON ACCOUNTANT gives Dick a tie from a trunk. BILLY takes a business-like fedora. ACCOUNTANT dons sunglasses. DIVA takes a tiny white parasol. The Puppets enter and ask the ussher at the escelator for the boss. They ask him to rent them a room for 200 dollars. He declines. They leave. DICK Alright now let me do the talking. INT. CINIMA 24 MULTIPLEXIVERSE The Group enters the cinema. And asks an usher near the escalater. ACCOUNTANT ahhh... VLAD hmmm.. DICK Ok let's see. Ah.. here we are. Um excuse me sir. I would like to speak to the owner of this establishment. TICKET TAKER Uhh that would me Mr. Gluten. Take the escalator up to the top then down the hall and the last door in the middle. They ride upward past the great modernist chandalere to the third floor. ACCOUNTANT Wow this is beautiful. DIVA Mmm... ART Yea and so conveniently located. BILLY That's a good point ART. DICK It should draw a lot of business into the ..uh Neighborhood. DIVA hmmmmm. The puppets ogle posters for movies.. OVER EATER oohhh.. VLAD ahhh.. DICK Hmmm.. This way.. The puppets proceed down the very long side hall..to the door in the middle. A sign on door says "Moot Gluten Manager". They open the door. "Squeeeeeeekk" A long forboding dark hall with rows of lights. Light entering from a small opening at the other end. The Players proceed through to a large and oddly Spartan opulent office with a small desk next to a wall of glass. Mr. Moot Gluten sits low in his chair chuckling at a small suspended TV screen. ALL whah.. huh.. shh.. huh? Oh.. DICK Ehem... Gluten turns from his TV. And remains reclined lifting his eyes above the edge of the desk to see Dick and the puppet gang. He slurps his giant soda. DICK Uh Hello, Mr. Gluten my name is Dick I represent the Great Flying puppet Shakespeare Theater Company and Friends. And.. I.. GLUTEN ehhh? DICK And I would like to interest you in a uh.. business proposal. If you please. GLUTEN mmmm.. Wha' kind of proposal? DICK uh. Well we have recently found ourselves between theaters and with some effort have acquired the funds to procure an establishment to serve as our, uh, new venue. And I would like to interest you... GLUTEN Ehh.. How much money? DICK uhh Interest you in uhh.. About 200 dollars. But we have our own equipment! GLUTEN uh.. nah.. I dont think so. DICK But we have a great company and a lot of talent and we this will be a really good, uh program, a show with music and heart and you know.. well uh.. just.. a really good uh christmas show. Its a christmas show. GLUTEN Nah. Gluten turns back to his TV. FADE TO EXT. OFFICE The Hall door closes. Klunk. ART Well if he's booked up he's booked up. BILLY Yea. DICK Well at least we tried. ACCOUNTANT Yea don't feel bad. It's just random market conditions. VLAD Yea and our financing. DIVA Well I am not going to sleep in a truck. So you had better find us a place! DICK (GULP) INT. CINIMA 24 MULTIPLEXIVERSE -DOWN ESCELATOR ART What are we going to do Dick? ACCOUNTANT Yea what are we going to do? BILLY Yea that's a good point. DIVA mmmm.. DICK Uh.. Well I have, of course, a few ideas, uh for the troupe, which I've been, uhh working on. Come on. Let's uh.. I'll make a few calls. EXT. STREET PAYPHONE -AFTERNOON Dick talks on the phone and the group waits. Dick hopples back to the group. ALL ehhh? DICK Ok I found a place. It's a little far but it should work for tonight's performance. I had to promise them we would provide food service but I booked some extra acts to fill the lineup. We just need to do one thing. EXT. DEMOLISHED THEATER "REFORMATION" Dick nails a sign to the lone standing door in front of a tall pile of rubble next to a small piece of wall which is also still standing with a poster frame on it. The Sign: "Tonight's performance moved to ADDRESS.." DICK Ok that should do it. Now we just need to get to the new place and set up. JIMMY awwww.. ACCOUNTANT What is it JIMMY? JIMMY JIMMY need his bunny. (points up...) ACCOUNTANT Waaa? DICK Bunny? Oh.. OVER EATER climbs to the top of the rubble pile and retrieves JIMMY's fuzzy bunny. Dick holds a pole on top of which stands ACCOUNTANT with a broom on top of which stands ART holding a chair on top of which stands BILLY on top of whom stands OVER EATER DICK Just a little farther. There. OVER EATER Haaaah, yea got it. EXT. STREET BILLY climbs down the pole Dick holds... then OVER EATER with the bunny. OVER EATER gives JIMMY his fuzzy bunny. ALL Ahhh.. DICK Ok let's get to the theater. ohh look snow! ALL Ohh.. Ahh.. EXT. FRONT OF THEATE -DUSK SNOW FLURRIES The drivers show up. (in two 18 wheelers) The group waits for the two trucks. DICK Ok they should be here in a minute. There they are. ALL oooh.. wow.. DRIVER1 Mummm ummm. DICK Hi. Everybody this is Yon and Lars. Uh I'm Dick and this is ACCOUNTANT, OVEREATER, DIVA, ART, BILLY, JIMMY and Vlad. VLAD Good evening. DRIVER2 Hmm mhmmmm.mmmm. DRIVER1 Mmm hmmmhmm.. EXT. BACK OF PLAYERS TRUCK Dick standing on shoulders of BILLY who is on the shoulders of ART closing the rear truck door. Hopping to the ground, DICK Good. That's everything. Right. Yon, Lars, You're driving Bessie. With the tree and the decorations. Well take Homer with everything else. Here. Dick hands Lars a map. DRIVER1 mm.mmhmm.. DICK Alright let's go. It will be dark soon and we'll want to beat the storm. Yon and Lars are in the truck before anyone notices. DICK oohh. Come on. They climb up one another to get in the large tractor trailers. INT. PLAYERS TRUCK Adjust seat order oops.. uh.. oh.. here.. you.. um.. there.. good.. Oh sorry.. (JIMMY was underneath pokes up), They Marshal Controls DICK Let's see we just.. (klaaakkkkkk Crunck! Bzeeee!) There.. Ok.. FOLLOW US! Reaction Yon and larz. (Rummmm!) DICK Now keep an eye out for the highway. Look for the signs, (signs pass,trucks pass) There should be a map.. Check in there.. ACCOUNTANT ducks into the glove box area... ..Use the Map. ACCOUNTANT Got it. (opens the map) DICK Oh.. and there's the highway. They turn on to the turn pike.. (reaction)(Swerrrrrrve) The trucks pass by.. ACCOUNTANT Ok steady as she goes. JIMMY (at the glass) Ahh.. Fade to dark (the triumphant outwardly bound music fades) FADE TO INT PLAYERS TRUCK --Evening (Ski-slope detour 2012) The passengers are asleep. The two truckers in the other truck are awake. Ski Slope signs begin appearing: 'big mountain ski resort' (smiling faces of happy skiers). 'Don't miss big mountain "fun and food" next right' (smiling faces), 'Big mountain SKI PARTY Turn here' with(smiling faces with big arrow). The crazy drier swerves, noting the sleeping passengers. the other truck follows as they slowly drive around through trees. Skiers slide this way and that. They pass signs for 'SKI party -->' They slowly weave past the Ski lodge, pass the upper ski lift, "Big Party this way -->". TRUCKERS mumble mumble? mumble mumble? The players truck emerges from a narrow isle of trees and noses out over the edge of the ski slope. It dangles there. It stops at the edge. The truckers behind them pause. They cannot see because of foggy glass. DENNIS tries to go backward. But It won't go back. The players truck tips forward and slides Downward. The truckers follow whipeing the window as they drop over the edge too. Both slide uncontrollably. DENNIS uh oh. TRUCKERS woaaaa! The two trucks slide down, past trees, overtaking skiers, they take out a few trees. Then, avoiding trees, they slide side to side down the slope. They are skiing with 18 wheelers. The mumbling truckers mumble back and forth frantically. TRUCKERS mumble mumble!, Mumble mumble! DENNIS is worriedly comforted by skying in control. The truckers see the parking break and try to use it. But this causes snow to pile up in front of the truck and they begin tumbling end over end. DENNIS tries to avoid a ski lodge and player's truck begins to roll. Shot of disappointed driver rolling rolling rolling. The players do not wake up. Both trucks are in the long tumbling process of wipeing out. The Christmas tree exits the Truckers trailer as they tumble end over end then the tree falls back in. And the door slams shut again. Then the truckers land upside down on a flat rise and slides down over bumps, taking out several more trees, then turning as it begins to roll and coming to stop right side up and stopping on an icy lake. The truckers spin the wheels. The ice cracks loudly beneath them. They mumble nervously. They stop. They jam it into 1st and roll slowly, gently across the cracking ice. As the last wheel is about to depart the lake.. a large piece of ice cracks away reveling the freezing water below. They spin more and jam it in to 2nd and slowly exit the lake. The players truck is still rolling. It comes to rest upside down on a bluff then teeters slowly and flops upright onto the highway. The slightly humbled driver also drives off. A bump wakes the players. ALL (Stretching) Oh.. mm. DICK I must have dosed off. How're we doing? DENNIS (sheepish) Ok. INT. LARGE AWARDS STYLE AUDITORIUM AND STAGE Opening glam interior shots of big theater with roaming spotlights. PAN TRACK LEFT RIGHT Screen Plate opening titles.. Music: (Slowly striding Orchestral ragtime waltz theme song) ANNOUNCER From! the () theater () it's The Big! puppet! Powerhouse Christmas! Extravaganza staring.. DICK, !, Mrs! DIVA!, (Hot Young Hostess)!, (Comedian Personality)!, (Pop Diva)! And (Rock Legend)! Also Staring Danny The Cook!, TALL, PUPPET!, ART!-and-BILLY! And! the whole puppet gang. {COMERCIAL} (THEN REPEATE INTRO W/ TITLE AND MUSIC ONLY) EXT TURNPIKE Driving all the characters are asleep. MUSIC: Crescendo, Mystery Segue, reverb Fade INT. SHOW TRUCK DRIVING -NIGHT Bump. Bump. LITTLE PUPPET Is it much farther? DICK Ok..We're a little late, but the show doesn't start till 8 o'clock. That should give us plenty of time to set up the decorations. Of course those are all in the other truck. Where are they? Bump. DICK We should be there by now. Where is it? ACCOUNTANT About 40 Miles according to this. A sign passes. DICK No there it is! Truck swerves. "rrrrrrrrrrhhhh" Another sign passes. ACCOUNTANT Turns map right side up. DICK We'll be there pretty soon. DIVA Good I'll need time to rehearse (clears throat --twice) BILLY I'm kind of hungry DICK Don't worry the cook is going to make a great big cast dinner. DICK Where is that other truck? EXT. TREE TRUCK -NIGHT Driving in heavier snow storm. MUMBLING TRUCKER Mehmmmehmehmm.. Huh? OTHER MUMBLING TRUCKER Uhhh.. He turns map right side up. Suddenly bright lights ahead! OTHER MUMBLING TRUCKER (pointing) Uhhhh Aeeeeee!! MUMBLING TRUCKER EEhh? BOTH TRUCKERS EEEEEHHHHHHH! Screech, Sliiiiide, Hornpassing, Truck hornnnnnnn, Plouff!! The truck is lodged in a snow bank. The cab and drivers are covered in Christmas decorations. MUMBLING TRUCKER Uhhh, Mmmmmubumbmumb OTHER MUMBLING TRUCKER mmm.. Yon tries door handle to no avail.. Lars holds up an adorable ornate twinkly decoration. INT. FIRST TRUCK -NIGHT DICK Now just keep an eye out Cause were AHHHHHHHH! Dick sees a large green highway sign, screams, DENNIS screems and they all scream after him and screech to a halt, at a stop sign on the off ramp. (shots of wheels sliding, truck aproaching, gripping the wheel) A old hunched puppet lady crosses very slowly immediately in front of the truck. The group leans to the glass and watches the lady cross then sits back and sighs. They continue driving. DICK Whew, that was close. Look There it is ! MUSIC: Angelic chorus. The group strains to look. GROUP Oooohhh. PLATE Lincoln Center photo, snowing. ACCOUNTANT That's nice Dick I hope it wasn't expensive. DICK Uh well. Gulp. Hehheh. I just hope everybody shows up. INT. LOBBY -NIGHT Group walking (bobbing) through the lobby. Group discovering (bouncing to) the ticket window a couple Players enter. The now smaller group seeing the usher. ART Oh you know, this is really, nice. DICK Yea Uhh..We better get back to the truck. EXT. TRUCK REAR -NIGHT LOADING DOCK -SNOWING Truck backing in "blub,blub,blub,blub,blub,blub,-pshhhhhht". The truck is backed into place. It sits motionless as the engine runs a few seconds. INT. TRUCK Reaction shot. Engine off. EXT. TRUCK REAR Dick on someone's shoulders undoing the truck latch. DICK Let's see it just.. just.. EXT. TRUCK -PROFILE The doors fly open and a wall of puppet material gushes out. They all greet as they leave. VLAD Ooow dat was bumpy. PUPPET Thanks Dick. PUPPET2 Hi Dick. PUPPET3 Hey Dick. PUPPET4 Hia Dick. The Loading dock now full of Players. They enter. INT. BACK STAGE Throwing the large light switch. Kachunk-buzzzzzzzmmmmm.. INT. THE STAGE DICK ehem.. uh..Well it certainly is big. ACCOUNTANT Yea. DENNIS AHHHH.. BILLY mmm. Found a penny. DICK Ohh.. We better get the truck unloaded. EXT. LOADING DOCK Dick stands at the doorway. DICK Ok Guys let's go! EXT. TRUCK PROFILE A stream of Players begin unloading box after long box and crate after large crate. Dick ushers them through the dock into the building. DICK Good.. Ooh right there. Watch that. Ohh. Good.. Ok.. Come on. Dick aside reaction. INT. BACK STAGE Players going this way and that, with the boxes, lost in the interiors of Back Stage. EXT. LOADING DOCK DICK Ok is that it? ACCOUNTANT Just one more. EXT. BACK OF TRUCK The Players struggle to pull out a box the same size as the opening of the truck. They pull it just beyond the edge of the truck doors and begin breaking down the box into smaller boxes which are halled away. HOGAR appears standing behind the large box. As the the large sections are hauled away, HOGAR (sighs) and steps out, BILLY closes the truck. Dick holds the loading dock door. HOGAR (sigh) Umphhh.. Dick Reaction. HOGAR walks across the lift and enters past Dick with gaping dullness and high-fives Dick. Dick closes the loading dock door from the inside. DICK Hmm. Shabby settles in near the trash in the loading bay as HOGAR hangs a mirror there and sits on a crate. INT. BACK STAGE Players carry boxes around. DIVA takes the larger Dressing room door, then switches the larger star from the smaller door to hers, then sticks the smaller star on it too. DIVA Oh.. Hm.. Humph. Vlad pics a door with cobwebs. "Ah ha.. ohh.." Several smaller characters bounce off one another and enter several small panel sized doors near ground level. TALL PUPPET doesn't fit in to any of them and just sits next to the door at the end. Dick ducks briefly into a normal sized room. DICK I guess that'll do. INT. MAIN BACK STAGE Boxes piled high. The cast sitting around. Dick takes the fore. DICK Uh Umm Hi Everybody.. I just want to say it's great working with you all.. Um. And we have a lot to do. You are all professionals. (uhh yeaa.. thanks) Now we are missing one truck with the tree and decorations. I'm sure they'll be along soon. But the Good news is that we have umm....five minutes so.. AHHH!! Let's get started!!! Ahh.. Puppet helterskelter. STAGE DIRECTOR With megaphone. STAGE DIRECTOR Ok. Open the boxes! Makeup, Props, Wardrobe, backdrops, instruments! Players running the same direction. Players running into one another. Players popping up behind boxes. Prying open large crates. Long wardrobe racks rolling out of slightly shorter boxes. Carrying large scrims out across view. Taking out costume pieces, horn helmet, jeweled jacket, scepter, tutu cook looks at Pots and Pans in one box, takes them and runs off. HOGAR on ropes, HARRY on the other side. HOGAR pulls as HARRY is lifted away. MANAGER (stage Dir) and Kid look at lights from catwalk. Things rolling past, things carried past, TALL PUPPET hanging things in high places. Dick directs work men to TALL PUPPETs' Dressing room door as it is already being painted yellow and stenciled. Players moving back and forth. INT. BASEMENT -UNDER STAGE KITCHEN cook, Lights on in basement kitchen (under stage). An old boiler.. a stove.. plumbing.. electric.. (side shot) cook throws pots and pans onto a large table. (establishing shot again) The table is pushed into frame. INT. BACK STAGE JIMMY up in lift hanging things. MANAGER (stage Dir) hanging from gantry, plugging in a light high above. HOGAR and HARRY Pulling up scrim. Musicians filling the orchestra pit and tuning instruments. Kid Turns on the video wall (back stage lights up with changing colors behind the closed curtains) Stage Dir MANAGER slips off a gantry holding an electrical cord and swings past the Conductor who simply lowers briefly as he swings by. He clings to a vertical truss on other side where kid uses MANAGER's cord to plug in the lights. Players pushing things in place. Video wall screen changing colors in the background. INT. ORGAN ROOM VLAD enters organ room, plays on the organ first three notes of Bach's cantata.. then testing keys lazily one at a time then BILLY enters and joins him. The random syncopated 'play notes' become one stream of random notes. The notes create geometric blotches on the Video wall. INT. STAGE Curtains begin opening and closing. Scenes partly revealed and withdrawn. The video wall now flashing wildly with the random notes. Light flickers the scene. INT. KITCHEN cook standing on the table and a large soup kettle. INT. THE STAGE cook looks up through the trap door in the stage. Orchestra tuning crescendo ends. (All quiet with light hammering and sawing in background) TALL PUPPET and ACCOUNTANT walking and nodding at the quick work on stage pass opening in curtain and notice the audience and flee. INT. DRESSING ROOMS The guys hammering and sawing to enlarge TALL PUPPET's dressing room door - stop. INT. BACK STAGE Pandemonium of Costumes, dancers, camels, musicians passing in tight hallways. Guest Shows up and is greeted by one or more cast members. DIVA passes wearing Horn Helmet defiant. MANAGER and Bear are looking at the script held by OVER EATER. BEAR Uh yea.. Here and here. Happy Smiles, Happy Smiles. ACCOUNTANT gestures to Dick. ACCOUNTANT Hey Dick. Exciting huh? Huh? TALL PUPPET Tells Dick they're here. TALL PUPPET Um Dick, Dick.. They're here.. they're here. DICK Oopps! Thanks! (he looks..gulp) ACCOUNTANT With walkie-talkie. ACCOUNTANT Um Hey BILLY BILLY Oh Hi.. ACCOUNTANT Hi. Dick enters. DICK It's time' It's time. ACCOUNTANT Oh Hey Dick. ACCOUNTANT (To walkie talkie) Dick's here BILLY Hi Dick ACCOUNTANT Oh It's time. It' s time.." BILLY Oh INT. THE STAGE The Audience from stage, The Stage from the balcoany INT. TICKET BOOTH INT. CONDUCTOR PODIUM Light dim.. CONDUCTOR taps. Silence ensues. A few people sniffle or cough. The conductor leans slowly forward and turns a page to open the score. He leans in to see it. He cues orchestra (a little brassy now). INT THE STAGE Obsequious Announcer Guy (short bit) w/ Title sequence reprise etc.. ANNOUNCER Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Big puppet Powerhouse Christmas Special! (stage name of the film) The camera begins swooping around the hall as lights roam. With DICK!, DIVA! And! Guys sawing and hammering TALL PUPPETs dressing room door now in tempo to reduce noize. The whole! puppet, Cast! With! Hosts! (Hostess)! And! (Famous Comedian)! With performances by (COUNTRY Star)! (Pop Diva)! And!, a special! appearance by (Rock Legend)! Now, here he is, the one and only, Man you've known for all these years. Dick is back stage as his face is rolled with a lint brush. Mr. Dick Puppet! INT. CONTROL ROOM Assistant sits with headphones at the sound board. MUSIC (Tympani/Theme reprise) Kid works the spot light. Frog bounces excitedly across the long stage... DICK Tha.. Than.. Thank.. Yes.. Oh.. Tha.. Thank you. Tha.. Thank You. (improve) What an amazing crowd. (pause) Yes.. Yes.. (Pause) We're really happy to be here in Lincoln Center. (pause) Thank you... It's been a difficult climb from a failed theater project to this amazing venue... DICK Oh.. um uh... It's so nice to see you all here at Christmas time. We Have a gigantic show for you..!, (pause) Yes. !..So let me introduce (HOSTESS)!!! - Theme Music HOSTESS Yea. Yea. Awesome. Hi Yea. (wave) Thank you.. Thank you Dick. Yea. Wow. My gosh. It's great to be here in NY. Yea. DICK So Hostess, what do you think? HOSTESS Well.. you're right this is a big theater. But, you know, you're taller than I thought.. no really. Am I right? DICK Well thanks. And uh So are you. Uhrr.. HOSTESS Thank you. You know, Christmas is such a beautiful season of year. It's so wonderful to watch the people in central park, and see the children playing in the show. And this is my first puppet special. So well, It makes me think of a song... DICK Oh, uh, what song is that? Oh, uh heh heh.. Dick is surprised the scene is changing. Musical swirl.. (harp strings) Hostess dons a scarf and flips it over her shoulder then hangs one on Dick not obstructing his bow tie. Opening Duet: "Christmas Song" Simple projected stage set: Lonely snow covered glen. (perhaps red, purple, blue upper sky..) a small cabin in the distance and a sleigh by an ice-lake. Walk to place. Sing. (vulnerable simplicity with a hint of magnificent) HOSTESS Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, DICK Jack Frost, nipping at your nose. Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow TOGETHER ...will find it hard to sleep tonight. DICK They know that Santa Clause is on his way. He's bringing lots of toys in his sleigh. HOSTESS And every mother's child is gona spy to see TOGETHER if reindeer really know how to fly. HOSTESS And so I'm offering this simple phrase, For kids from one to ninety two. Although It's been said, DICK many times many ways TOGETHER ...Merry Christmas, To You. MUSIC BREAK---They ride a cardboard shadow of a sleigh, They throw projected snow balls (background image), They run and slide (pause and sway) together as if spinning on ice (background image) Doe-see-doe. Dick walks on an unseen log then runs to center and slides a little more on the ice, end horn break with piano riff by Hostess, then guitar solo then back to song. TOGETHER And so I'm offering this simple phrase... ...for kids from one to ninety two HOSTESS Although It's been said, DICK Many times many ways, TOGETHER Merry Christmas to You. (applause...) We see the audience, stateside MANAGER waits with affirming look from Dick. Performers turn to center then exit oposite. Opening Number Continues... MUSIC: Spangled "Most wonderful time" overture. As the couple turns the set turns to evening glimmer and the sets roll onto stage pushed by elves. CHORUS (high:overture slow) Christmas... Christmas... (mid) Dong Ding Dong Ding... [Repete] Christmas... Christmas... Christ Mass, is Here, A Gain... (fast part) //REPETE (Christmas time... Christmas time...//repeteing) It's the most wonderful time - Most wonderful time. Most wonderful time Christmas... Christmas... It's the most... Wonderful Time... Of... The ... Year... Most wonderful time... Most wonderful time. Most wonderful time. Christmas... Christmas... It's the Most... wonderful time... of the year! (fast part) SUB CHORUS: There are Carolers caroling, Sleigh bellers barreling, Everyone out in the snow... There are Turkeys a thawing and cold slawers slawing for roasting and stories of long long ago... CHORUS It's the most wonderful time - Most wonderful time. Most wonderful time. It's the most wonderful time - Most wonderful time. Most wonderful time. Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time... SUB CHORUS Its the hap hap hap happiest, sap sap sap sapiest, funniest time of good cheer. There'll be nap nap nap napping and clap clap clap clapping and joy when our loved ones are near! CHORUS It's the most... wonderful time... of the year. (brief fast part) --Masterful rhythmic bridge for 4 beats-- ( Bawdy part: Alto ) Once, a year, it's Christmas time. Ev,ery year, we do just fine. He packs his sleigh, and brings us joy. And every year, a brand new toy. (break) San-ta clause, he's' got his tricks. Now lis,ten up for old saint nick!" (drop one beat) (Fast part) CHORUS Christmas, Christmas"... It's the most wonderful time... ..." Short Musical bridge-- (bawdy in falsetto Soprano, ) Once, a year, it's Christmas time. Ev,ery year, we do just fine. In snow and cold, he packs his sleigh. And brings, another toy to play. We won't sleep long, Were up at dawn, to sing, another Christmas song. Chorus: "Ahhh" Chorus fugue: Fast "Christmas Time" w/ It's the most wonderful" "Christmas" "Most wonderful" "Christmas" "Most wonderful" "It's the most wonderful time of the year!" Fast bridge part run around -End with next set on stage. Hostess AND Dick to center: Clapping. Gaping. Smileing. (Hostess Mouthing) Yes. (Dick nodding) u-huh u-huh u-huh. Extended gaping smiling and clapping.. STAGE MANAGER checks OVER EATER's clipboard, visited by BILLY, Comedian narrowly avoids two silly Players who sword fight back stage (hi-fives OVER EATER). Other Players are pacing around saying "la la la" and "fa fa fa". HOSTESS Ladies and gentlemen, DICK (Comedian Personality) !! MANAGER gives cue. COMEDIAN PERSONALITY Hi, Thanks, (wave) (punch air) Yea. (punch air again) Yea. Thanks it's great to be here. You know I just want to say... Nothing, expresses Christmas, better than these two amazing kids. HOW BOUT A HAND! YES.. YES. You. You were amazing! No. I am. Yes, Yes, How about it, Yes. You know, Christmas is a wonderful time, of the year. It's known all over the world. It's a time when we look forward to being near to the ones we love. This next song tells that like no other. GIVE A HUGE HAND FOR (COUNTRY STAR)! SET: COUNTRY, spit rails and hey rolls and lazy autumn skys. Sitting.. as the little critters gather around. Camera in.. the critters gather around the half drum fire.. SONG: "White Christmas" : COUNTRY STAR I'm Dreaming of a white christmas ... SONG: (encore) "Santa Clause is coming to town" COUNTRY STAR You better not shout ... ... ... COUNTRY Star Bows, Enter Comedian COMEDIAN (COUNTRY STAR) everybody! More Bows Enter Hostess, more clapping Pull away HOSTESS Our next act is very unique... (fade) they are a three very talented artists who have a such a knack for music.. and you know, it is the season to be jolly! INT. SIDE STAGE -GAG ACT Side stage we see the act roll into place. 2 Unicyclists with Penny whistles do circles around a juggling Elf. - 'Tis the season...FaLaLaLaLa' (no singing) INT. BACK STAGE Pencil interview of COUNTRY Star and Dick. Host passes by. A Mupett documenentarian askes (COUNTRY Star) a few questions. INTERVIEWER Mr. (COUNTRY Star) Hi. Glant Rockwell. Tell me about your start in COUNTRY music. COUNTRY STAR (Ad lib) Oh that's a funny story back in something-rock Texas and rattlelsnake this and cactus that... We see the Unicycle pennywhistle act on stage. INT. DRESSING ROOM HALL Various critters pass in the dressing room hall as Comedian and hostess pass DIVA who feels rivalry. COMEDIAN Hello, DIVA DIVA Hello Bill. COMEDIAN It's nice seeing you here. DIVA Hmmm. Stage director MANAGER looking at OVER EATER's clipboard, MANAGER I need singers together.. singers.. MANAGER runs off camera.., Camera descends to kitchen. INT. KITCHEN The cook is singing and carrying a large tray. He sets it down as others carry pots and pans left and right. cook directs uncertain helpers in between verses, COOK (singing in italian) yada da ta da ta..da da daa daa The helpers continue uncertain and grabbing other things to carry around. Things are clanging. cook sees JIMMY he asks him to go find the ladel. COOK Hey why dont yous go make the icecubes? JIMMY Huh? COOK Ice cubes. You know? Ice. We gota have ice. For da dinna. JIMMY Huh? cook hands JIMMY the ice trays and points to the ice icicles on the chalk board.. JIMMY Uhhhoo. You want me to, freeze the water in these trays, into ice cubes. COOK Dare ya go. That's a good kid. JIMMY Oh Ok. JIMMY exists. Enter Dick DICK Um Hi, How's everybody doing. I just though I'd see if you needed a hand. COOK Ay you know it's under control. Ehh? cook yells to some other kitchen helpers who all reverse directions. And klang some more. COOK No No the utter way. Enter HARRY.. COOK (to Dick) You needda do somthin? DICK Uh.. hmm.. Well do you need a hand? COOK I-needa-ladel DICK Huh? COOK For da soup. HARRY and Dick are perplexed cook goes to a chalk board to left and draws a ladle with his deft gloved hands. DANNY Dis thing. DICK Oh.. HARRY Uhhhhh! Dat's a ladle! DICK Yea. COOK yea dare ya go. DICK You need someone to find the ladle. DANNY Yea for the soup. HARRY I can do that. I can look for the ladle. DICK Oh thanks HARRY. Good work. cook is satisfied and turns to the helpers in the kitchen. DANNY Yea, don't be long its gata happen! DICK Uhh.. well good. Come on cook, you need to get up there. cook and Dick exit hastily. INT. DRSSING ROOM HALL TALL PUPPETs' room still not done. The work Players continue to saw and hammer and paint. DIVA opens her door and receives flowers, Knock... FLORIST Uhhh let's see Flowers for DIVA from, --same. DIVA Oh I'll take that. Thank you. INT. ON STAGE Hostess enters frame to applause.. clapping HOSTESS And now the puppet singers. Puppets sing -"Let it snow" Cast: Cook, Assistant, Hogar and Over Eater Acapella humming and doo-wap Humm Humm Humm Ooh Ahh humm.. -page of arraingement removed- Finale' Hold notes then.. Full group Key change down, up, up, down, up hold... bells: "ring in good chear" hold note... end full orchestra with base drums roll, then loud base drum note (with reverb).. (Screaming applause) {COMERCIAL} INT. SIDE STAGE The Hosts return to the stage. INT. THE STAGE HOSTESS Weren't they amazing. HOST There are just so many acts you don't see every day. This is one of those acts. ¾, Light stage, crane in [Plate Twirlers "Rocking around.. (the Christmas tree)"], INT. BACK STAGE HARRY I got to find ladle for cook. I'm looking for ladle. HARRY goes to the loading bay, pokes in, looks around. Then leaves. HOGAR "humpf.." HARRY goes far back stage, down long halls and dark corners, turns on lights, then turns them off again, checks closets -wardrobe falls out, cups, swards, canes, pillows. He does not wear the crown or fez, looks up into access door of air vent shaft, climbs up on crates, looking in crates, popping out of crate, moving crate on back, prying a crate open, looking in. HARRY walks back down the dark hall and sees the makeshift tree under way as the plate twirlers pass. HARRY nears the make-shift tree. It falls down when he arrives. HARRY Um excuse me, anyone see a ladle? EVERYONE uhh no.. HARRY leaves the tree. HARRY moves along a curtain then pokes head around curtain. HARRY looks through a pile of chairs and tables and sees a stray crate on the table. He pulls it down and it breaks open. Kazoos spill out -he toots one. Then sees the ladle poking out and grabs it. HARRY Ah hah.. HARRY moves along the halls, to the stairway door marked basement. HARRY enters stairs with ladle. INT. BASEMENT KITCHEN HARRY through door, down stairs. There is still pandimonium as the helpers are carrying the large cooking drum to the table and others are scurrying around. COOK Get that over there. And this over here. Be careful with that. HARRY interrupts. HARRY Ehem.. um Mr cook. Mr. cook. Look I found the ladle.. The team drops the giant pot of soup. TEAM Huh? Huhh.. Huhhhh. Uhhhhhh! Wooooooooo! Kersplashhhhh! Kaklang klong kling klung ka-klang-a-ang-a-ang-a-ang an gang ang ng ng ng ng. TEAM mmmmm. COOK Oooohh.. flumux Reaction HARRY. COOK Oh, gadzooks. Da soup is blooped. The helpers start moving around slipping and falling..Klanging. Kagoing-oing.. caflump. Swoop boing. Ka-berk. Swoop boing. Swoop boing. Reaction shot cook. Reaction shot HARRY. HARRY slowly slumps. There is self reflection. HARRY retreats COOK Oh, hey, watch it. Woa. Now. Easy. Oh. INT. BACK STAGE HARRY sulks past the [sitar- snake charmer "Jingle bells"] HARRY slogs past the interviewer with Dick showing dressing rooms, TALL PUPPET is retrieved from her now completed yellow-special-shaped dressing room door with a star. HARRY tells Dick of the kitchen disaster with interviewer -Dick smiles it off as "stage talk". HARRY Dick.. Dick.. DICK Oh ah here's one of the team. This is HARRY. HARRY There's a big mess in the kitchen. Dinner is ruined. DICK Oh huh huh. That's uh what we call stage talk. Good job HARRY. Keep up the good work! Uhh.. HARRY But I.. DICK Now over here are the fancy dressing rooms. HARRY slunks away.. INT. THE STAGE We listen to the [sitar- snake charmer "Jungle bells"] a while they finish. Lights down, then up on background, Host, Hostess enters, intros the next act HOST Thank you. HOSTESS Aren't they amazing? HOST You know (Hostess), of all my great friends from TV. Here is one of my favorites. She may be covered with feathers. She may have gigantic feet. But to us she's just like a little toe. Here she is! Our very own, little toe, Ladies and gentlemen, CLARE CLARE enters, dressed like a bird. There is a dark stage and a snowman. (TALL PUPPET) “I’m not a snow man” © Tim Sheridan 2009 Played Notes: f#dafdc, D79, Am7, D7, Gsus6… G D Am D79 D7 I’m not a snow man. I’ve got feathers, and wings. Am D7 Am7 D7 I’m not made of snow. And my eyes aren’t coal. D D7 G G I’ve got no carrot nose. I’m… just a bird. D D Am D7 I don’t melt in summer. I don’t weigh that much. Am7 D Am Gsus6 D7 I eat little worms and like to strut-my stuff. G Am D7 G I’m, not, a snow-man. I’m just a bird. Am D A snow man doesn’t flap his wings. Am D He doesn’t toot his beak.. ka-haaaa! Gsus6 D7 A snow man isn’t made-of-fluff. Am7 D A snow man, rarely sings. Gsus6 D G G I’m not a snow man. I’m, just a bird. D Am He’s snowy like a ball, G D (spoken) I’m yellow. You’ve heard. G D7 Am I don’t melt. D Gsus7 D7/ D79(sung) G (spoken) I flap and flutter and fuss because I’m, a bird. D G I-don’t-melt like a snowman. I’m a bird. G Am D7 G I’m not a snow man. I’m a bird. (applause) TALL PUPPET flails joyfully toward the audience then flails joyfully away. Bird act completed, Hostess (only) returns and soaks up the cheering. INT. KITCHEN The pratfall-cleanup continues. Ka-klang wooops, kaflop, kaflump, klank-plunk COOK Oh the sloppy muck. Come on. Woa. Heasy there. Easy. INT. KITCHEN HARRY pokes his face in and checks on the kitchen, he sinks with regret, leaves. INT. BACK STAGE HARRY is followed by Prince Charming who carries a pail of spoiled dinner past the make-shift Christmas tree. The tree is full of Players hanging by their knees and extending polls with rope, He walks to the loading bay. PRINCE CHARMING (singing) Her I am, I'm coming through ooh ooh ooh With a bucket of goo ooh ooh ooh (talking prowdly) I'm coming through! EXT. LOADING BAY Prince Charming enters, He passes HOGAR. He proceeds to the trash. Shabby is delighted. SHABBY ooohh Dinner is served! Oh Yea..Omn num umna numn" HOGAR is nonplussed (sigh) -he replaces his earplugs. INT. BACK STAGE HARRY finds a place to sulk, he extends to look on stage, glimpses INT. ON STAGE [Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker part 13 Slow motion marching in snow storm. Spotlight two people with a lantern and a horse marching in place against a make-beleive wind, snowing.], INT. BACK STAGE HARRY slumps back. HARRY sits reflects on his timing. Dick, wandering about on the way to the group trying to decorate the makeshift broomstick tree which falls down again. "Aw" Dick offers Duct Tape. INT. THE STAGE (End [Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker part 13 Slow motion marching in snow storm]) Hostess HOSTESS Wow how about that. Thank you, yes. That was just like being there. And one of a kind! This next act is a timeless Classic, and a beautiful song, that makes us all think of this season of giving. Please give a big hand for (Comedian Personality)! (Comedian: does Sad Hobo "Silverbells" (as though Martin and Lewis were just one guy who talked to himself...) INT. SET Street with 19th century shop fronts.(with soft blue backdrop and silhouette shops, Enter Comedian Personality the first 3 inches of a top hat crumpled slightly into a fedora.. . Grey fingerless gloves, a bit of coal dust on upper cheek and opposing jaw... forehead, neck, fingers, possibly left nostril) He looks in a couple trash cans.(music hovering overture) SHABBY Hey Hey This can is taken. HOBO Oh, I was just going to say the same thing myself. SHABBY Well this is a private can. HOBO And you do very well with it. I might say. SHABBY Yea I decorated for Christmas. HOBO Ah Christmas. Doesn't that just put a spring in your step? SHABBY Right. Ok. Well, move along. HOBO Yes indeed. Bell ringing. There it is.. (ringing) Ah, That sound. MUSIC: Silver bells, Hobo Adjusts lapel. Leans momentarily over the apple cart. Looks suspiciously down the backdrop ally. Sits momentarily on the taller of two crates. Puppets walk past window shopping (fabric store and fish shop) Sullen, Disaffected, unsuccessfully cheery. HOBO Silver bells, silver bells. It's Christmas time in the city. Ring-a-ling, Hear them ring. Soon it will be Christmas day. City sidewalks, Busy Sidewalk, Dressed in, holiday style. Touches a pine garland hanging from lamp post. Someone walks past holding their child close from him.(or woman clutching purse close) (to spotlight) Everywhere, there's a feeling, of Christmas.... (to Shabby) Children laughing, people passing, greeting smile after smile. Tips his hat to an unmoved passer by. And on every, street corner, you will hear. (hand to hear) Silver bells Glockenspiel pong ping ding (piccolo-Bird) too da loo(trill) Shill fer bells Glockenspiel pong ping ding (piccolo-Bird) too da loo(trill) It's Christmas time in the city. Silver bells. Silver bells. It's Christmas time in the city. Ring-a-ling. Hear them ring. Soon it will be Christmas day. (Church bells) klong klong kling. (Break) Check in trash can (see Shabby), pick up a penny, walk a straight line, swing on lamp post, sit on ledge. Silver bells (band) Silver bells (band) Hear them ring. Ting-a-ling Soon it will be Christmas Day. (Bells) Soon it will be Christmas Day. (Bells) Bell ringing returns..Salvation army puppet with bell "kling ka-kling". Two women pause a second regard him. He lifts his head and fixes his lapel. And bids adu. Music ends, lights, He bows, (waves out others), All Bow. Hostess returns to join applause. HOSTESS Thank you. (Comedian Personality)! (more applause) CUT TO BACK STAGE Here's a favorite I'm sure you will remember. INT. BACK STAGE Comedian leaves stage (grabs towel for face) sees the still unfinished tree. Tilts his head. (we hear the next) The tree team still working on now erect tree of brooms, mops, hat rack and snow shovel. Unsure what to say Comedian leaves. INT. STAGE Cut to [Lederhosen "we wish you a merry christmas"] act on stage. INT. BACK STAGE Hostess encourages HARRY HOSTESS What's a matter HARRY? HARRY I'm not good at things. Tree keeps falling down. HOSTESS Oh.. (pause) Not everyone is good at things the first time. Ohh. Cheer up. I'm sure you'll work it out. HARRY Cheer up? HOSTESS Yea. Cheer up. After all it's Christmas And you're here with all your friends right? HARRY Right. I'm here with friends and it is Christmas! HOSTESS Well see? That's what's important. HARRY I see. HOSTESS Yea. HARRY Thank you. Hostess intros next act. HOSTESS This next song, known today as "Carol of the bells" Was written by Ukrainian composer Mykola Dmytrovych Leontovych. First performed in.. 1916 This choral melody was Inspired by a New Year's chant known as "The Generous one" Reaction shot of ASSISTANT and equally silly counterpart on sound. Here with "Ring Christmas bells"... ...Our very own, puppet Singers! The "The Generous one" ("Carol of the bells" 'Christmas is here, Bring in good cheer') Funny Nonverval Accapello 1 min ... VLAD: Merry Christmas Every Body, Merry Christmas. DIVA: Thank You, Thank You, and You. ASSISTANT: Hi.. -- Comedian Personality and Hostess: HOST Oh Yea, Yea. (cut away) Here now a piece I know you will recognize right away. HOSTESS Oh Holy Night ! Begin [Flamenco "O Holy Night"] CUT TO INT. BACK STAGE -TREE AREA HARRY sees the tree is not working very well. He softly offers something else to put on it (a scrap of shiny paper) but they are already trying something else the tree falls down again. crash. HARRY sulks away. We see the act in the wings. INT. DRESSING ROOM AREA DIVA needs another bowl of fruit for her dressing room DIVA Ehemm.. uh Ehemm.. oh uh.. stage steward? This bowl of fruit. Ehemm.. It is empty. Stage steward (MUSIC DIRECTOR?) nearly sticks his head into the bowl and observes. MUSIC DIRECTOR Oh, you're right. I can see that. I'll get that right away DIVA. Then she sees the interview team. INTERVIEWER And here's DIVA and the stage steward. DIVA Oh, ha ha... Thank You. Hello. Oww.. Uh Hem.. uh Mmm.. It was empty! Hmm. She closes the dressing room door. Perplexed interviewer(s). INT. KITCHEN Dick follows the stais to below the stage. He enters past HARRY. The and sees cook looking all around. And helpers looking all around. (klaning klang..) COOK We got no goulache so we need somthing. Now find it. DICK Wuh? Wuh. What are we looking for? We seem, uh,it looks like, we can't find something. KITCHEN HELPER I don't know. But we have to find it. Or we can't make dinner. DICK Oh (reaction shot) Well we better find it. HARRY returns from stage. Oh Hi HARRY. Were.. uh.. Looking for something. Something to make dinner with. HARRY Oh HARRY not too good at things... HARRY begins looking anyway.. COOK Oh dont say that. you found the ladle, right? DICK Uhh Good. Um.. well Say.. Um cook? COOK Yea? DICK Uhh.. Just what are we looking for? COOK (dizzy with frustration) Some gulache helper, some fixens, viddles.. you know. cook draws picture of arrow to a large cooking pot on a chalk board he uses in the kitchen.. This begins to draw the attention of others. DICK Ohh.. I think he wants something to put in the kettle. OTHERS uhhh? DICK Yea he wants some more food, to put in the kettle. But all the food was spilled. OTHERS (slump) Ohhh... yea.. DICK So uh we. We... We need more food! HARRY Yes HARRY spill all ingredients. DICK Uh, Well let's see. uh we'll need to find more. HARRY! Can you find more food? HARRY I need to find more food. COOK Ahhh! there you go. Right. Food. Yea if you put it that way. cook retrieves money and hands it to Dick who then hands it to HARRY. COOK Here this aught to cover it. DICK Here HARRY, can you buy more food? HARRY I feel responsible. HARRY go buy more food. HARRY sulks out. DICK Oh well good. Ok. TECH GUY Hurry back Harry. LITLE GIRL Yea Hurry back harry.. Dick looks around as the cook is scratching his head and helpers are reflexively still looking around. Dick leaves. INT. BACK STAGE HARRY walks past act, [Flamenco Matador "O Holy Night"] He leaves through the front door. And pushes out in to the deep fluryying snow. EXT. THEATER (FRONT) HARRY goes into the cold night. He walks across the concourse. He walks along the street. He walks some more, looks at newspaper boxes, He walks some more, He walks along the road, He walks and cars pass, he turns a corner, he sees an alley of questionable characters, dumpster/trash can Players, He walks some more and sees a snow plough pass, the snow is high and he can barely see above it. HARRY finds a steam vent and warms his hands on it, then he sits in the steam. He looks up at the night sky. He sighs. Then an ethrial Spirit of Christmas Lady appears. He sees her and is shocked. She gives him directions and the love of good wishes. SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS (with slight aura) You are seeking. And you are cold. He nods. SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS (pointing) Dear child. Go, until you see the lights. You will find what you are looking for. He nods HARRY finds the grocerystore but it has just closed. Dejected again. INT. BACK STAGE Dick is looking for HARRY DICK where's HARRY? No body knows. INT. STAGE [Digeridoo, soda bottle, Jaw harp "Hark the herald angels"] EXT. TALL PUPPET'S DRESSING ROOM Comedian (HOST) leans on the corner. He is being interviewed HOST You know, I think it's really, all about the feeling. The performer is like... like a fine cook, Preparing a banquet, for the audience. The fascinated interviewer is writing this down. EXT. THE STREETS HARRY wanders dejected. He discovers an open deli. He approaches excitedly. EXT. DELI We see the exterior of the Deli. HARRY enters. INT. DELI HARRY looks up at the rows of bagels in clear containers. HARRY Ohhhh. EXT. DELI DOOR HARRY exits the deli with a large full bag ovr his shoulder. He wanders the streets dragging/carrying the sack. He drags it across the street with the light. He drags it past the steam vent. He drags it along the sidewalk. He is exhausted and comes to rest in front of a fire hydrant. He tries and tries but he can't pull it any more. The neon sign blinks. Then he hears jingling bells. He looks around and does not see the source. Then he looks up and there it is. He gapes. He gapes more. He gapes in really, really, close-up. The Sleigh lands! HARRY is mesmerized. SANTA Ho Ho Ho. Santa (We see only his boots.) jumps from his sleigh in slight slow motion and walks to HARRY. SANTA What do we have here? Lost your way huh? HARRY nods. SANTA Well not tonight. Come on. Santa grabs the sack (we see only sleeve and glove) and hefts the bag into the sleigh. INT. SLEIGH HARRY sits in the sleigh which gives off a slight amount of sparkle dust as the wind and reindeer take it onward. Santa shaking the jingling reins. SANTA Heaaah.. Come on boys. HARRY Waaaaaoooooo! SANTA Come on girls. Santa strip to north pole The Sleigh passes the Statue of liberty, the Eiffel Tower and Great Pyramids. HARRY oggles the crowds and stars. The sleigh flys straight down into a silo of ice in the middle of a vast tutor and post modern industrial complex. SANTA Hold on to this. SANTA gives HARRY the reings. HARRY You deliver the toys. SANTA Yes all over the world. But you know theres a lot more people these days. We do two whole runs now. Ill just need to stop at the house, you don't mind. Now hold-on this part is new. I just love this thing. Whoooooo! Santa lands flying straight down into the vertucal takeoff and landind vtol silo at the north pole. The buildings are eclectic.. English tutor, stone cabbin, gothic and igloo with a few ultra modern additions all glommed together in a large complex. INT LANDING BAY -NORTH POLE Santa and HARRY get out of the sleigh and are attended by hosts of elves. A large group fawns on the pupet as they sing. ELVES SINGING (fast singing) Santa's Home. Hes all we know and merry ho ho ho. He's a happy playful toyfill magic man. We dance and play and work all day We're a playful candy, toyful happy band, in a chrystal, sparkle frosty, magic snowy, crunchy winter land. He's a Happy jolly wonder special man. With Joyfull magic, sparkle palace, frosty crystal marvle special jam. In a happy snowy, sprinkle frosty, crunchy magic snowy winter land. Slow elf anthem: (barber shop quartet and humming) The man, in the beard, might seem weird, but he gives us all, the pudding we can, eat. His red, and furry suit, might seem quite, a hoot, but not when, he's out in the cold bringing back, the, smorgesborg. Resume fast singing: He's a able chunky wizbang mega man, With a super special great big christmas plan, In a crispy snowy, magic happy, sparkle showy winter wonder land. BACKGROUND ELVES (background singing) ...Reindeer to their stall, a place for one and all, we dance and sing a merry thing, and a happy happy happy home --for all. Cause its christmas, christmas, christmas christmas christmas time... The reindeer are lead away to stalls down one isle. they are still in the long tutor livery hall/runway of the ice silo. SANTA Oooh I just love that. Well here we are. Fella's this is HARRY. You take good care of him. You make your self at home now. Any thing you want, just ask. You've always been a favorite of mine. HARRY Ahh, thank you, Santa. SANTA This is crystal, shimmer, sparkle, glimmer, and fleck. They'll help you settle in. Ho Ho.. You run along. And have a MERRY CHRISTMAS Ho Ho Ho Ho.. ELVES Hi HARRY, Hi HARRY, Hi HARRY, Hi HARRY, Hi HARRY.. They elves offer of trays of treats. They shower HARRY with different toys. Shiney trucks, fuzzy bear, various bicycles, roller scates, romote comtrolled bird, bat and glove. ELVES (singing continued) Its a candy candy, candy candy,candy candy land. Its a joyfull toyfull playfull land of fun.. Its a happy happy, happy happy, happy happy song. In a joyfull toyfull candy home. In a happy chrystal, sparkle frosty, magic snowy, crunchy winter land. Its a happy toyful place. And a magic buzzy space. We're a magic candy, toyful happy band. We dance and play and work all day in a Crispy snowy, magic happy, sparkle showy winter wonder land. It's our winter magic wonder special plan. In a Toyfull magic, sparkle palace, happy crystal marvle special jam. In a snowy sparkle frosty, crunchy magic snowy happy winter land. CRYSTAL This is the sleigh bay. And those are the reindeer cabins reindeer bay, And here's the cristmas portico, and this is the holiday paddock, and this is a glacier streem, theres lots to do. You'll always be busy.. The elves show him the Toy Foundery sport testing buz technical with bycicle gantery and a parts conveyer. GLIMMER And this way is the Toy foundery. That's where we make all the toys. SPARKLE Lots of toys. SHIMMER So many toys. FLEC Come on you'll see. They take him through the toy (wearhouse) piling him up with gifts and food and apparel, toys. Shiney trucks, fuzzy bear, various bicycles, roller skates romote comtrolled bird, bat and glove, ELVES (SINGNG) We make the toys for girls and boys and everything that makes such noise and floppy cloppy wirling flapping klunking swirling ringing dinging snapping clapping clatter racket rides! with a beeping, blinking, tooting hooting, twilnkling, shniney fancy cringle pride. In the snowy sparkle magic happy frosty crunchy chrirtmas wonder land...' Testing besting, making, breaking, fixing, nixing, tiny frils and happy trills, toys that danse and sing and jump and squirt and buzz and pump. and whirl and spin and twirl and wiz and thump.(thump? shrugs) Games and saddles, balls and paddles,.. We Pound and tweak and bend and squeek, and glue and weld and solder.. we out in parts and with package arts and and little bits of stuffing. we sew and press and clean and dress and strap and shine and polish. in a playful joyful toyfull magic land. (three song limit?) ...electric bleepers, nazal tweezers, kanes for geezers, teazers! every kind of toy and plafyll band. in a happy playfull toyfull joyfull magic happy toyful magic land. or-in a happy joyfull toyfull magic playfull happy happy magic land. CRYSTAL And this is the caffeteria. INT FOOD AREA -NORTH POLE Elves take him to the cafeteria (wearhouse) and give him a tray of tray piled high with food. Where we sing and dance and work and toils along. (Commons, work area, cafeteria, candy place) The elves introduce themselves. CRYSTAL This is gumdrop, dimple, stipple twinkle, giggle and bink. They help in the kitchen. ELVES (singing) Oh... Pumpkin pie, bread pilled high, and pork and beef and ham, and brustle sprouts and soda founts and baby candied yams. Endives, oysters, crackers, souflet, samon, mangos, waffles, tai and trouffles, jack and pepered cheese. You can have just anything and more then if you please. There's Potatoes mashed, cranbaries splashed, and corn cobs stacked so high, with gravy boats, rootbeer floats, and mellons piled real high. There's icecream fried, puddin pie, jello molds and big soup bowls, and everything that stuffed and gulped and savored. And chomped and chewed, slurped or spewed and, ,sipped and lightly tasted. Its an endless super, greatfull special, massive mega, perfect feast. With every kind of great big roasted beast, and vegies from the garden world chopped and shipped and pearled. With samon roses amd candy poses, chocolate castles, cake with tassles, buttered cashues, tripple decker pies. With every thing and double sause, and all piled high and wow thats boss. You can have just anything and more then if you please. Its an endless super special greatfull massive mega giant feast. weather chomped or sniffed, or licked or bit, Or stuffed and gulped and savored. Spewed and slurped and chewed and burped, and sipped and lightly tasted. In this super magic, happy spastic, endless world fantastic, special giant gourging major meal. In this super magic, happy spastic, endless world fantastic, special giant gourging major meal... HELPER ELF Were so happy to have you Harry. I'm gingle. This is sherbert, glimmer, fleck, blister, thumbs. Noodle, gimp, and fernando. This is the north pole. We have everything you could want. if you need anything just ask. Just relax and enjoy. They laden him with fluffy treets and cancy garlins. SECOND HELPER ELF "dont forget your coccoa ...". HELPER ELF Were so happy to have you Harry. I'm gingle. This is sherbert, glimmer, fleck, blister, thumbs. Noodle, gimp, and fernando. This is the north pole. We have everything you could want. if you need anything just ask. Just relax and enjoy. They laden him with fluffy treets and cancy garlins. The ELVES take harry to his room. An open space romanesque suite ovelrooking the various warehouse floors below on different sides. They put him in a golden chair and give him purple robes and red and gold garlands, scarfs. The attendants warm fire. And hot coccoa. SECOND HELPER ELF (again) "dont forget your coccoa ...". They run away. Weee hehe hehe hehe.. The song ends..santa is gone.. HARRY sits in his golden chair covered in garlands, robes scarfs and toys. The songs continue in the background.. He watches the goings-on through various balconies and verandas through the endless higlty piglety mideval, gothic, tutor and modern complex. He remembers he was on an errand.. Foggy flashback.. "Hurry back Harry." Harry gets up holding his garland of gold.. He walks to find santa.. INT SANTA"S DRESSING ROOM Santa is in his dressing room. HARRY Ehem.. Uh.. Santa.. SANTA Ah HARRY, how are you gettimg on. Hard to leave isn't it. I thought you might want to stay. What do you think? Santa holds cardboard beards to his face.. SANTA This one or that one? or this one? Ive been doing this along time. He turns.. His face has changed.. SANTA ".styles change.. " Turns again.. another beard appears. SANTA We wouldn't want to dissapoint.. There, this one. HARRY shows his sack of food. SANTA Oh but i see you have a job to do too. HARRY nods. SANTA Well lets do it! Cilantro, Crystal, my coat! Thissle, Dimple. Ready the raindeer! Garland, stipple! Bring the sleigh! Santa and HARRY walk through the myriad complex amid massive stone arches and log cabin walls and ultra-modern glass. ELVES (singing) Happy happy winter snowy. Santa.. Santa.. Santa.. Clause. Hese ready on his way, hes gona ride the sleigh, he's got a super list, and christmas just can mis. Santa clause. Mr Old St Nic. Hes gona he's gona a make his way, another holiday. Santa.. Santa.. Santa.. Santa...! They enter the long takeoff ready room. High tech equipment had been mooved into place. it make trinkling glimmer tech sounds. SANTA We modernoze now and then. A large funnel is positioned over the sleigh and several metal rods begin to shake it fittng the packages into the giant sack. SANTA I love that thing. Have to make two runs these days. but this helps. A computpr calculates the shortest route to every city. A giant button downloads this to his wath in a flash of big screen closeups. Santa takes a moment to memorize it. SANTA And there. Toys? ELF3 Toys sir. SANTA Weather? ELF4 Snowy sir. SANTA List? ELF5 List sir. SANTA Ahh..hmm.. He eyes the list.. (the list is an ancient book with loose papers and leather binding) Takes pencill from, behind his ear fixes an entry.."mm" Fixes anotjer entery.. SANTA no, no.. There.. Thats better. Oh.. Heh heh this one is my favorite.. Good.. Elves, readdy? ELF6 Readdy sir, ELF7 readdy.. SANTA Then on we go.. Here you get in, i, There just watch your step.. And were off! Merry christmas! Santa sprinkles him with a small amount of pixy dust.. SANTA On Dasher,on Dancer, Prancer on, Vixen. On comet on cupid on Donner on Blitzen ! Hoooo! The riendeer sleigh soars upward throigh the vertical takeoff silo of ice. The puppet hangs off the back of the sleigh..amazed.. They pass the pyramids the Eiffle tower.. Over the sea. The moon Shines off the endles ocean. The there is the statue of liberty. SANTA I love this part. (singing) I got to be me! I've got to be Me! The dream that I see, makes me what I am! They fly over the city and land on the roof of the concert hall. SANTA Hooooo! Thats a good dear. Here you are HARRY. Safe and sound. Your friends will be expecting you. Oh and here, this is for the band. Santa hands HARRY a small package. SANTA Your comming back is very nice. Always a good one. I won't forget. See you next year. HARRY Ahh thank you santa. Santa smiles at him. SANTA On donner on blitzen on prancer on vixen On dasher, on dancer om comet om vixen! Hoooo! EXT. ROOF OF THEATER Sleigh bells jingle then louder then louder. The sleigh lands atop the theater. Kaklunk.. SANTA Woah... There. That should do it. Now you get to your friends. Oh, and here. This is for the band. Santa gives him a small parcel for the band. (an "extension cord" shhh..) HARRY Wahhh? SANTA Go on now. HARRY Thank you Mr. Santa. Santa hefts the bag of food out of the sleigh and climbs back in. Santa nods. SANTA Ready Dear? Haaa! Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Hoooooo! Ohhhh! The sleigh soars away with a surge of orchestral music. HARRY finds only vents on the roof but one is open.. he throws the sack in but its stuck. He jumps on it to push it down then suddenly slides down the vent. HARRY Umph.. Umph.. Waaaaa! He bobbles through the duckting 'klunkle klunkle knlnkle.." He rattles through the silver tube past the catwalk, through a brick wall down through the backstage floor ... INT. KITCHEN The cook bides his time. Looking fecklessly at a couple pans and bowls. Mumbling. COOK (sigh) What a mess. All we can do is fold napkins. Klunkle Klunkle Klunkle Waaahhhhhh! Ka-smash flump. HARRY lands in the kitchen. HARRY Mr. cook ! Mr. cook! I got the food for the dinner. COOK What? My gouache? EVERYONE Horary!! COOK He got the food! I can make the goulache! We'll have turket and giblits and pouding and Pie! Cook looks in the bag. But there are only bagels.. COOK Huh? Hmm.. Huh? Hmm. Huh? Hmm. Huh? Rrrrr.. This is'nt goulache. He holds up bagel after bagel.. COOK Huh! ... No.. Huh!... No No. Not goulache. No. It's only bread. (sigh) Cook is sad. EVERYONE Aww.. he can't make dinner.. He can't..? He cant..? "Awwwww" Too bad. TALL PUPPET Sorry HARRY. A little girl looks at the bag and finds a Danish stuck to the bag. TALL PUPPET Oh.. but what is this? Cook holds up the Danish and Bagel. COOK Huh? Mmm.. That's it, That's it.! I've got it! This give me an Idea! This could be my goulache! EVERYONE He can!, He can?, He Can! He can make the dinner! Horayyyyyyy! Good work HARRY, Yea Good Work! HARRY's a hero! Orders are given but nobody can understand. COOK (draws on chalkboard) I just need a confabulating matrix and a souflet pan, and a strainer a heating coil. Here. Get, eh this. and this.. And this.. Cook still drawing on the chalkboard. EVERYONE What? Huh? What? What's he saying? COOK This would make the base and then the soup and. Turkey! Yes. With refrigeration and a mixing element. Gravey! And decant the sucrotic element then this would be. Icecream! ASSISTANT He needs a mixer and a fan and a light bulb. uhh.. COOK Yea Thats the way. TALL PUPPET Wait ASSISTANT understands. ASSISTANT Uh then we need a big bowl and rolling pin and the ladle. COOK Yea the ladle. (keeps writeing) TALL PUPPET ASSISTANT can translate! Go on ASSISTANT. ASSISTANT Yea he can make the dinner. We just need to find these things to make it with. TALL PUPPET He says we can help cook ! ASSISTANT Yea Yea we can. EVERYBODY Yeaaaaaa! ASSISTANT writing. COOK (on chalk board) Now this part spinns. ASSISTANT Ok Ok got it. COOK And this part blends the mix. Uhh and. mixes the flavior. This makes it fluffy. ASSISTANT Yea yea yea. Got it. ASSISTANT writes this all down and gives pieces of paper to all the Players. HARRY leaves kitchen as those remaining congratulate him on his good work. INT. BACK STAGE HARRY exits the stairs and crosses the curtain. We see (Brief view of [Handle's Massiah 'Hallelujah...']). Others arrive and the interview team is there. INTERVIEWER And here's HARRY. Mr. HARRY can you share a few thoughts with us? BYSTANDERS Oh HARRY saved the dinner. He found more food. Yea he's a hero. INTERVIEWER Oh Really? And how do you know HARRY? EVERYONE I know him because we work on costumes. I know him from doing the curtains. I know him from helping with the music. HARRY is a friend. I like HARRY. Yeaaa HARRY. Reaction HARRY gaping with amazement and joy.. INT. STAGE Hostess Ladies and gentlemen, (Pop Diva) (Pop Diva's) "Do you hear what hear?" (snow princess...), (encore: "I'll be home for Christmas" (Lanterns)) Begin close pull back to Christmas phantasm of ice and snow and poinsettia. Snow princess on pedestal surrounded by white fractal ice crystal orbs. Enter Hosts return: clapping, lights, Bows. Cut away. {COMERCIAL} INT. BACK STAGE -TREE AREA Harry, is now happier. HARRY finds the tree is not done. (tree now with rope and two-by-fours) Harry looks into the curtain hollow as STAGE DIRECTOR and DICK ask.. MANAGER Where is he? DICK Where's JIMMY? ART follows HARRY to the tree and tells of his dinner save. Interviewer crew takes note. They ask HARRY (now a hero) for more decorations. ART Did you hear? Did you hear? HARRY Saved dinner. The cook and the food. That was HARRY. EVERYONE (separate voices) Ohh.. HARRY. Yea. Hey. Thanks. HARRY can you help us with the tree? We need Decorations. HARRY I can look for decorations. Ok. HARRY leaves looking for deccorations. EXT. LOADING DOCK HARRY looks in the loading bay -no decorations.. He looks outside and finds JIMMY shivering with the ice trays. HARRY JIMMY, what are you doing out here? JIMMY f-f-f-f-f-f-f-Freezing uh-uh-ice c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cubes. HARRY JIMMY you need to come in. You're on next. JIMMY Ohhhhh k-k-k-k-k-kay HARRY leads JIMMY in, And regards JIMMY. INT. SIDE STAGE DICK Oh...uh has anybody seen JIMMY? INT. THE STAGE ["Hallelujah"] act ends Hostess exits backstage for center. INT. LOADING DOCK HARRY gives shivering-JIMMY a blanket then picks up ice trays. HOGAR opens the door for HARRY. They walk from loading bay. INT. BACK STAGE DICK sees HARRY, takes the ice cubes and thanks him, sees tree. hes worried about the tree. Back stage people pass in robes and puppet camels etc.. The Comedian is tanning w/magazine, We see new act [Bagpipes "Silent Night"] INT. KITCHEN HARRY passes through the kitchen which is now commotion of all kinds.. people walking back and forth with large shiny metal objects, pieces of cable and small mixing bowls. COOK Uh that works. Get me more. More metal parts. INT. ORCHESTRA PIT HARRY checks the orchestra for decorations (a door from the kitchen into the orchestra pit) HARRY tells a musician of his plight. The musician nods 'no' and whispers to the next who also nods 'no' etc.. They begin a whisper campaign. INT. BACK STAGE The nativity act gathers by the curtain. Dick passes. Others ready for the '12 Days' act. The tree isn't ready. DICK We need those decorations. Host and Hostess 3/4 Intro the [Nativity background Act] HOST This next act is very special. It symbolizes the heart of Christmas. HOSTESS It begins on one special night long ago. (applause), The Nativity players are in place and a curtain opens. CUT TO INT. BACK STAGE ASSISTANT in a closet, removes a lamp, pie plate. He pulls an "extension cord" (stage lighting becomes dims. Elsewhere DENNIS is rumaging and it goes dark. He is surprised. INT ON STAGE -NATIVITY SCENE Stage light becomes darkened slightly from the extension cord having been removed.(repeated) JIMMY tiptoes across the active stage and slips into the nativity scene manger. TALL PUPPET They came to a small town and looked for lodging but could find none. And they asked the innkeeper, but there was no room. And they asked all around but none could be found. INT. BACK STAGE ASSISTANT (now carrying bailing wire and a hubcap) borrows arc generator from Vlad who is playing cards with SUZIE. We see the snowed in truck on his TV. ASSISTANT Uh can I borrow this? VLAD Sure, no problem On TV, a Snowed in Truck. They have decorated the cab with the decorations as a reporter finds them. On TV, Camera comes in close. REPORTER Now weather and the roads, A huge snow storm and difficult driving leaves this truck and it's occupants, stuck here, with of all things, a load of Christmas decorations. Back to you Breck. BRECK A harrowing night out there I'm sure. Now in sports, lints take the fuzzies in the navle game tumble. And the socks, stick to their outside lead, -- down by one. INT. THE STAGE -NATIVITY SCENE CONT. Nativity scene continues. TALL PUPPET And a Sheppard told them of a stable with a manger. Where they could keep warm through the night. And they found the stable which was told to them. INT. ATTIC ABOVE STAGE HARRY searches for decorations in attic he turns on a light, looks in boxes. Turns on another light. And looks some more boxes then pulls and pulls to opens a trap door. It gives way and he slowly opens it. INT. THE STAGE -NATIVITY SCENE CONT. TALL PUPPET And the wise men came and learned of the new born child and said, Behold the Baby Jesus. And they gathered round. An arc of light pours through the open trapdoor above onto JIMMY (as baby Jesus). (angelic harmony "Ahhhh") HARRY looks down through the trap door. JIMMY waves up sheepishly. HARRY waves back. INT. ATTIC HARRY Ohh heh. INT. THE STAGE TALL PUPPET For we were led here by the star in the sky. Surly He will bring us goodness and light. HARRY pleased reaction shot. Closes trap door. INT. BACK STAGE (Applause) The many players are ready for the 12 days act. INT. KITCHEN Cook bolts something onto the now shoulder high metal object. As he places parts on it with ASSISTANTs help and others who bring the parts. At ASSISTANTs request. COOK (singing) Yada hata dah dah dat tah Dah dah dumpthy dah dah daa. ASSISTANT UM here.. uh.. here it is.. cook takes another part from ASSISTANT. COOK (singing) Yum de dumt dah dumt dee dumpt dah yah dah de duh dumpt duh dee. Someone hands ASSISTANT another part. ASSISTANT Oh and and here..s this one. INT BACK STAGE The troupe prepares for the '12 days' act. Dick calls for the characters to ready. DICK Ok Ready for the Doce, I mean, 12 days ! El Mopo: From the noir shadows of back stage, a figure is revealed. He steps forward into the light with echoes of Spanish guitar. He is a gaucho. He wears a tight, light blue janitor uniform tailored into a waist coat with small blue wide rimmed hat and drawstring. He carries a pole. His expression is confidant. His mauve concave angular face is slightly triangle with a spur of a nose and his chiseled chin well below his mouth. His quaff of shiny black hair and side burns extends well below the minimal relief of his ears. His jacket sleeves are ¾, his faded tangerine tux (t-shirt). A man of implacable principle and impecable personal code. He also has (music) after his name. Roughly, the spanish guitar chord (E) (one step low) in 'Spanish strum' followed by notes a b b-c-b-a b followed immediately by the distant vocalizations. DICK Alright everybody let's get ready for the twelve days.. Everyone in place. EL MOPO Excuse me Senior. (guitar twang..) DICK Oh.. EL MOPO Did you say... the twelve, days? DICK Un well yes.. that's our next act, the 12 days of Christmas. EL MOPO No, not, (close) the "Doce Dias"! (music pang c7+d#) DICK Um well Yes. EL MOPO No. This, cannot be. There, must be some misunderstanding. DICK The act. Oh we've been working on it for a while now. EL MOPO But the "Doce Dias" is only myth, a children's song. It is an illusion! -- a fantasy. The "Doce Dias", It is like the wind. It could never be, performed. DICK Well, we worked out a nice number. EL MOPO No. It is impossible. There would be too many for the stage. The "Doce Dias", is like the wild animals! -- it could never be tamed. DICK Oh, well DIVA sings the lead. It's pretty good. EL MOPO No! I cannot allow it. It is too dangerous. She would be trampled! For her safety, I implore you, do not do this thing. DICK Um who are you? EL MOPO I, am, El Mopo, (guitar twang), the Janitor. I cleanse the planks of drama. I polish the footlights of the muses. Where ever the proscenium is soiled! I will there. DICK Oh well thank you mister. EL MOPO El, Mopo (music) DICK We go on in a couple minutes. EL MOPO Ok, ok, fine. If you want to do it your way. I will be here. Nice to meet you Mr. DICK Oh eh uh... Dick. uh Puppet. EL MOPO My pleasre. They shake hands (Uh Thanks, yes , nice, Uh huh.) DICK Ok everybody the Doce dias.. I mean, Twelve days. Let's go.. EL MOPO Wait. If you must do this thng. Then you must allow me perform the opening act. DICK Oh what do you do? EL MOPO A little juggleing. DICK Well we do have a some time. Ok sure. You're sure. EL MOPO I am certian. INT. BACK STAGE/THE STAGE At the tree, Comedian observes the poor progress on the tree which is now partly covered with gloves. He proceeds to stage side and intros the next act right behind Hostess. The nativity scene curtain closes. COMEDIAN (drying a tear) How bout a big hand. Yes! Aren't those kids amazing? They work so hard. He glances up briefly at the trapdoor. Dick wispers to him. El Mopo Act: El Mopo agrees to the "Doce Dias" but asks if he can open for it. (Dick) agrees and is shocked to read the act as he introduces it. "Motorcycle Juggleing" (a family tradition) HOGAR brings the bikes and piles them on stage. We never see the actual juggleing, only shadows and stunned faces and the bowing afterward then EL MOPO takes his broom and dissapears into the night.) The Stage opens without intruduction as el mopo enters and bows to applause. Then gasps and ohhs. HOSTESS Wow. Yea. Yea. Yea. Our next performance tells the story of Gifts from loved ones near and far. Here they are once again, the puppet players. (applause) INT. ORCHESTRA PODIUM Someone finally whispers to the conductor that the tree needs decorations.. (applause stops) Audience, caugh.. sniff.. 12 Days overture: The conductor leans forward. He turns the page to open the score. He leans in closer. He raises his baton. The orchestra gallops away in the shortest overture.. about three bars each section.. beginning roughly: the first 21 notes of stars and stripes, the theme from Mozart's 29th symphony, then the decending bridge of stars and stripes before the time change, The William tell overture just before the main theme. A short cadence comes to rest. De dum de duuuuuhhhhh dahhhh dahhhhhh An orchestral flourish sees DIVA enter the stage. Ba, de-ah da, de-ah da, de ah da, de dah bum. (applause) Piano: da-ding, da-ding.. (orchestra) DIVA (singing) Uh huhm.. On the first day of Christmas My True Love Gave To meeee!.... ... -- NOTES for 12 Days operetta: The 12 days of Christmas operetta is a bit long so the main scene is performed with some adaptations. The details add a quality of effort that makes it nice. (First and most obvious there is a pause between the gave to me and the calling of the gifts then another pause before the reframe this allows for suspense and antics) The lead also calls the numbers in reframe. The DOCE DIAS, FANCY NOTES: -Gifts (and gift givers who call gifts) enter behind DIVA until the 7 swans. The rest enter in front of her. This is a commotion and causes her to grasp to the fore several times and at the end for bows and her exit. -Dick waits side stage then calls "Seven Swans a Swimming" each round. DIVA does "...gave to me.." (2 through 12) and "Five golden Rings" in reframe. Diva sings the first part then the chorus and diva. Responding Chorus is (Men, Women, Soprano or whole) each share various gifts. Birds and others leap, jostle or Moo when mentioned. Musical Arrangements: mostly choral/orchestral intros and reframes, embellished instrument choices. Reframes below the five golden rings are baroque chamber style. Reframes above more modern. Tracked audio will allow selection of different choral groups to call gifts in the descending reframe. -Partridge/tree, (barer Women) The Diva DIVA receives the tree with the bird in it with glee.."Ohh Ohh ho ho ahh heh..ooohh!" then the she quickly becomes jaded as the other gifts arrive. Each round she returns to center and the polite finery of the 18 century orchestration. Orchestral filigree extends the timing between rounds. (full string intro)(reframe bach chamber style violin cello harpsacord) -Two turtle doves (barer voice) "hoooh thank you" (Soprano) "coo coo" (Harpsacord Guitar flute) (Reframe Two flutes and a violin) -Three French hens. (barer voice 2) Hens are French..and, possibly, Canadian... "uh.. over there.." (Women/Full) "B-gock! buck." ) Harp strings woodblocks (reframe accordion woodwinds) -Four calling birds. Parrots (barer women) "calling birds, hello" Hello! Hello! Huhh "Next to the others.." (Chorus, Soprano) (Strings piccolo harpsichord) (Reframe Piccolo harpsichord brass) -Five Golden rings, (triangle) (barer barber shop quartet) she says "Ohhh! Give me that ! Thank you Thank you." (Full/Men, DIVA/Full) (armonica harpsichord strings) (Reframe Harpsichord and Glockenspiel) (no spaces on reframe) -Six geese a laying "Helerk" (barer women quartet) followed by a person picking up the eggs.. "ok" she picks one egg. It is taken by a stage hand. (Full, Women) Vibes trombones piano cello (reframe woodwinds) -Seven Swans flap all over the place. "Halark, Halark" "uhuh hhh'(Soprano, Dick says "Seven swans a swimming" w/single orchestral pluck) Oboes, flute, strings (reframe piano strings trumpet)(no spaces on reframe) Reaction (She gives Dick a look.. he shrugs.) -Eight maids a milking startle her. ("moooo!" "uhhhh? Ohh." Wild eyed cows nose into her. "aehhh!" -5 beats) (Women, Men falsetto "eight maids..") (tuba-ratchet) Harp, Tuba, harpsacord, piano, armonica (reframe piano harp vibes) -Nine ladies dancing. (to London bridge is falling down.-on "dancing") then continuing off a dry pause. Lead is pushed momentarily off stage but returns "Humph.." (Soprano) Harp, flute, piccolo, strings (reframe vibes bassoon) Fugue the London bridge and the reframe continuing past the partrage and off stage. -Ten lords a leaping (Tympani roll) (to London bridge is falling down.) surprise her.. "Ohhh! Hah ha Hi.. heh heh hello, hello ohh".. (Men) (cello viola harpsacord timpani trombones) (reframe strings symbol base-drum) (Reframe Drum trumpet flute) -Eleven pipers piping.. She is less interested.. (joke: OVER EATER looks at the script checks off #11.) (Men: "On the eleventh day" Full "of christmas" & "Eleven.", Soprano: "My true love." & "Eleven pipers piping.") (flutes piccolos bagpipes harpsacord strings) -12 drummers (slower) they nearly trample her as she struggles to stay in frame. (Full) (Tympani drums Brass) (Reframe: Bagpipes-woodwind brass) Add one long measure cadence. -Then the big count down..To allowtime for stage moves. Add three beats between gifts 12-11-10, two beats between 10-9-8-7 and one beat between 7-6. Everything above swans leaps to the fore when called until DIVA crowded out of view. She Claws her way back each time. "...And a partrage in a pair tree-mooooo." Thump "Bgoock!-hernk" "hoodooloo" "hoodooloo" "Buck", "buck". Stage thumps from a kitchen explsion at end, Bang-thump! Some fog comes out of the trap door. (The Cook's machine is working.) They players look around. The breathless Diva adjusts her bra without touching it and takes her bows. Exits. Ughhh. INT. KITCHEN (A throbbing hum) Cook's looking in a door to a blue light. INT. HIGH VOLTAGE DINNER MACHIENE The aura glowing light shines on Cook's face as he looks in. INT. THE STAGE Host and Hostess return after the diva exits. The Italian COUNTRY side scene becomes rune of garlands and poinsettia. HOST Amazing. Yes... HOSTESS (she now holding a copper cow bell) Ohh.. {COMERCIAL break?} HOST No Christmas Celebration would be complete without the spiritual composition of Johan Sebastian Bach. Ladies and gentlemen the Players. ["Jesus Joy of mans desire"] Players hum acapella..Medieval Cello, Harpsichord, Violins (cutaway) INT. KITCHEN Cook is now doing weird science amid electric arcs and whirlwinds with empowered ASSISTANT and frightened helpers. Vlad enters and is impressed. One of the helpers hands the Cook a light bulb. COOK Ok heres the Bulb. Cook hands ASSISTANT a light bulb. ASSISTANT Ok I just need to change thsi lightbulb. VLAD Ahh. Very nice. ASSISTANT is in the buzzing, arcing, percolating rig and adds a squeaky light bulb from cook.(whirr) The Interview crew enters and stands aback as the arc hums louder and louder with the light bulb in place. ASSISTANT poking out from behind the roughly cone shaped bulging arcing contraption. ASSISTANT Are you shore this is a good idea?! COOK We've got to make the dinner ! The Cook puts a pinch of spice into the funnel (k-klunk-a-klunk) then a drop of water is tweaked from a small faucet above it. The buzz and arcs become a crackle then louder, then louder, the machiene blows steam and sparks from it's seams. "Bang", then, just a whir with a hovering hum. cook opens the door to the contraption and peers in. Bright light shines out. He backs away from the glowing portal, slowly raises his head, then turns to the camera then nods laughing . COOK That's dinner. INT. BACK STAGE Back stage TALL PUPPET exists her specially shaped dressing room door and walks to the loading bay. She retrieves HOGAR who is being combed by SUZIE in the Loading bay. INT. LOADING DOCK HOGAR is being combed by SUZIE. TALL PUPPET Come on HOGAR it's time for the big closing number. They Exit. INT. BACK STAGE The other characters are gathered in the (ehem) wings. Hosts near stage. DICK Come on everybody let's get to the uh hum..tree scene. Dick looks in the curtains and is flustered. INT. THE STAGE We hear more of the Bach piece. INT. BACK STAGE HARRY wanders through the curtains to the tree area with the gift from Santa. INT. THE STAGE (Tree area) ROCK LEGEND and band stand in front of the large makeshift Christmas tree, HARRY enters carrying the gift from Santa. (The Bach act ends to applause) HARRY delivers the gift (extension cord) to ROCK LEGEND. ROCK LEGEND Oh Thanks HARRY. Any luck with the uh? (points to tree) HARRY (shrugs) He has not found any decorations. The tree is still hats and gloves over brooms, coat racks and two-by-fours BAND MEMBER Wow.. sorry man. ROCK LEGEND That's too bad. OTHER BAND MEMBER Yea. ROCK LEGEND Ok..Fellas, it'll just have to do. HOGAR enters along with TALL PUPPET and they stand by the Tree on the puppet side. (pre lights on, curtain still closed) STAGE DIRECTOR Ok Ok Ready Everybody? Dick Looking at the tree. DICK I guess were as ready as we will be. STAGE DIRECTOR checks to see if everyone is ready. Just then the Orchestra enters and, one by one, they decorate the tree with their instruments.(music) (reaction shots) HARRY Uuhhhh? ROCK LEGEND Aww.. now. Look at that. Rock Legend picks up the gift. ROCK LEGEND (to HARRY) Hey, He throws HARRY the gift, HARRY opens it and sees it's an extention cord. (Rock Legend) nods 'up there'. HARRY thinks a minute, looks, runs behind tree. Band acknowledges. The orchestra players are still filing in the tree one by one. HARRY looking at the extention cord and the tangle of plugs then looking up at the disco ball. He plugs the cord in. INT. THE STAGE COMEDIAN Well it's come that time again. We've had a wonderful evening being here with you all. It's your being here that makes it Christmas. HOSTESS And here, with our finale', is the amazing, the incomparable, the one and only.. (Rock Legend)!! INT. THE STAGE There is only curtain and orchestra at first. Orchestra does an acapella overture ("Christmas song" like) low lights, some kazoos (Mystery then serious then ethieral then Vlad adds 'the Bach Contatta' cord on organ -hold...) Curtain. We see the band and tree in backlight at first. Audience reaction shots. (Wait to light stage.) Flash cans (of snow) in front of stage. Lights. (HARRY finally gets the disco ball plugged in) (cue laser disco ball -slow speed) SONG:(Rock Legond) "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" Segue Encore jam segue to: "Coming Up"... w/ Suggested Riffs: Vocal (wooh, ah ha) Sax, Sax, Flute, Base, Drum, Guitar, (hyperbole Dick on synth): Glochensphele, Trumpet, Trombone. ... steel drums, xylophone, (Vlad) Theremin, (Dick) Harp, clarinet, single string violin, Sitar, tom-toms, Cello, African percussion (cook and helpers on kitchen impliments) - conga line? Fade. Hosts enter(on glochensphele): HOST Good Night everybody. yea! HOSTESS Good Night! We see, Audience, Cast, Balcony, orchestra Kazoo accompaniment , Band cont .. Lights off, Quiet moment, FADE TO INT. KITHEN Cook steadies to grab the handles of the tray inside the giant whirligig as the light pours out in his face. MANAGER Ok now watch it. Steady. Aw yea. Good. The cook removes a very long tray (longer then the 4 foot with of the whirligig the tray is covered with all the fixens of a turkey dinner. Including candle sticks... COOK Okey Dokey. Now that's a baby. ASSISTANT Easy easy.. steady steady.. STAGE DIRECTOR Yea.. oh yea.. INT. LOBBY Dick's interview DICK And so that's pretty much how we do it. Here are some of the highly talented people who make it all possible. Comedian and some of the characters including DENNIS and OVER EATER.. Goofing into the camera. INT. BACK STAGE Guests milling past back stage in close hallways. We see characters carrying chairs, plates, glasses, flowers. INT. BACK ROOM Near a hanging light bulb BILLY counting pay to band as the ban waits. EARNIE One, two, three. INT. STAGE The stage is set for the cast party banquet. Cast party, busy room, taking seats. As the casts sits for dinner it is rolled out on a metal cart under a high tech lid covering the dinner is stuck. They try tugging it with ropes, they try dropping it (it bounces back onto the serving cart) they try dynomite, everyone at the table ducks.. But nothing. The tech guy explains. TECH GUY as the dinner cools the air contracts and the vaccume preasure holds the lid down with.. about 900lbs of force. DICK I'm affraid we're unable to .. El Mopo (guitar twang) appears he parts the crowd and twirls his mop in an instant then simply flicks his mop handle.. the lid opens with a release of air and some beeping (from the high tech gadgets and lights on it) Guests gasp. COMIC PERSONALITY Truley he is EL MOPO. Then the COOK lifts the lid to aplause from the assembled guests. DICK Um.. Hi, Emerybody.. Um.. ehem.. You know it's been a great year, and I um, I just want to say, to everybody, that you have made this the best Christmas ever. I, I realy mean that.. EVERYBODY Yeaa. Diva kisses leader. DIVA Awww (peck) INT. CAST PARTY - STAGE cook removes the cover (with lights and electric coils) from the turkey. Everyone (ahh, ohh, yea, Mmm.) Closing lines: Hostess and Pop Diva flank DANNY THE COOK, The many extras, Players, camels, performers sit together. HOSTESS This is wonderful. COOK Oooh huurrr DIVA Yea thank you. COOK Ohh EVERYONE Here here, thanks etc.. COUNTRY STAR Mighty fine, Gravy please. COMEDIAN Oh, Is that banana bread? Dick passes green beans to Rock Legend. ROCK LEGEND Thanks old buddy. EXT. NIGHT SKY Santa's Sleigh rides into the moonlight. EXT. THE NEWLY REBUILT THEATER -MORNING Bulldozers hum around in the background. An electric drill is heard. Several critters gather behind a blueprint. One holds a footlight and a door knob. DICK It's a good thing we kept these plans in the office. Hmm.. Ok that's there. and we have those from before.. and uh.. We used all the trim? MANAGER Uh Yep. DICK Ok then that should do it. You got electrical? TECH GUY Uh Yes right there. DICK And you got all the plumming? Bear nods. DICK And all the little fluffy upolstering things? DIVA Mmm hmmm. ACCOUNTANT returns with a can of paint and brush. ACCOUNTANT All right now it matches pretty close. So Tell me. What da ya think? The same crane that once held a wrecking ball now lowers the theater marque' and DENNIS into place. Work men bolt it in. All sigh. Reaction DENNIS. TO PLATE MUSIC: "Wonderful Christmas" reprise. Then to theme. Credits. END